In a small, cold town in England, many years ago, there was a man and woman named Derik and Wanda. They were next door neighbors and they loved each other. One day, as they stood next to a frozen lake, Derik said to Wanda: "Wanda, I love you so much. Will you marry me?"

Wanda answered "Before I marry you, you must do 10 tasks. They will all be dangerous, and some will be heroic. I've always dreamed of marrying a hero. For your first task, bring me the hat of the Persian Monster." The Persian Monster was a horrible purple creature who had killed over 200 men. He had a hat of gold, which he guarded with all his life.

"Fine." he said uncertainly. He turned around and walked out of the small town, and wasn't seen for 2 months.

One surprisingly hot day in midsummer, Derik reappeared, dragging a humungous gold hat. There was a large purple dog trotting behind him, barking at his surroundings. The Persian Monster's dog.

Wanda looked at him as though he was crazy. "Are you insane?" she asked, "That dog is savage!" She looked at the dog again. He was drooling happily on Derik's shoes.

"What are you talking about? He is just a little big, that's all." The dog stood up, and Derik stood on his toes to pet him.

Wanda rolled her eyes. "Fine, let's just get to the point. For your second task, bring me the eye of Gold Witch Blackheart." Gold Witch Blackheart was an evil witch who haunted a neighboring village. She was made out of pure gold, but her eyes had small pearls in the middle.

At the same minute, a streak of gold passed by them. It was Gold Witch Blackheart! Derik shot her before she got too far away, and cut out her eye. He gave it to Wanda and said "Here. Are you happy?"

As she examined the eye, she answered "Yes. For your next task, I want you to teach that dog every trick you can, as well as sitting." She looked at the dog again. He was jumping all over the place.

"Why?" Derik asked, "The Persian Monster already did that. Sit, Japamesrael!" The dog sat. "Japamesrael?" Wanda asked, "Isn't that a rather long name for a dog?"

Derik rolled his eyes. "No. I think it suits him. He is a large dog, so he needs a large name."

Wanda frowned. "What else can it do?" she asked. "He can go to the bathroom outdoors, he can stop doing things when you tell him to, so practically, he does everything." he answered.

Just then, an awful smell filled their nostrils. Japamesrael was peeing!

Wanda held her nose and said "Well, for your third task-"

"You mean the fourth." Derik interrupted.

Wanda looked at him angrily. "No, it's the third task because the dog already knew every trick. So for your THIRD task I want you to bring me the silver crown of the Evil Fairy." The Evil Fairy was a very evil but beautiful lady with magical powers.

Again, Derik left and wasn't seen for a month.

It was fall, and leaves where falling everywhere. Suddenly, Wanda heard a loud barking and crunching outside her door. She opened the door and Japamesrael trotted in, followed by Derik, who put a silver crown on the hat stand. The crown seemed to shine and glow with some kind of magic.

"Hello, Derik. Would you like some tea?" Wanda asked.

"Of course." Derik answered wearily. "Japamesrael will just take some warm water."

Wanda went into the kitchen to make the tea. Derik sat down on an armchair near the fireplace and Japamesrael sat next to him, and then Wanda came back holding a tray which had a bowl full of warm water and two cups of tea on it. As she put the warm water on the floor she explained the rest of the tasks, which were to: bring her the gingerbread recipe of the evil witch from Hansel and Gretel, kill the Black murderer (giant bat) and bring back his wings as proof, bring the tail of Sinchan (monster in shape of cat), bring back the fang of Fang Monster (giant three-headed dog), bring the ear of the northern dragon, bring the fur of Link (giant rabbit), and, for the tenth and last task, bring the head of the giant lion that breathed fire.

Derik finished his tea, called Japamesrael and left.

Derik wasn't seen for three years, and many of the villagers thought that he had died or disappeared, but Wanda didn't believe that. She said to herself "If he can bring back the hat of the Persian Monster, I'm sure he could get a simple gingerbread recipe!"

One winter, as Wanda was knitting a sweater in front the fire, she heard a bark and a knock on her door. Japamesrael trotted in, followed by Derik, who was dragging a very large, heavy bag. He looked very tired and older than she remembered him. He gave the bag to Wanda and sat down on the chair Wanda had sat on before he came in, and waited for Wanda's answer. She looked in the bag, and saw all she had asked for. A gingerbread recipe, black wings, cat tail, a fang, a pointed ear, rabbit fur, and a giant lion head.

Derik stood up and repeated what he had said in the frozen lake. "Will you marry me?" And this time, Wanda said yes, with tears in her eyes.

Suddenly Japamesrael stood up and ran outside. Ten seconds later, Derik and Wanda smelled something horrible coming from the living room window. They opened the window, and looked down. Japamesrael was peeing in the snow, in the shape of a heart.

THE END